"During the Cold War, you were a hawk or a dove, but this new world requires us to be a phoenix"
…followed by the obligatory cheesy "rise from the ashes of the twin towers" line.
He pretty clearly chose the phoenix not only so he could use that line, but also because it's an animal which is objectively more badass than a hawk. So, in order to outdo The Huckster, I'm trying to think up a flying animal which is more badass still.
As a Sarah Lawrence alum, part of me wants to go for the gryphon. It does, after all, have lion claws.
My gut, though, is telling me to go with Sky Ape.
In the past, we could all choose between being hawks or doves (and, on occasion, the mighty chickenhawk). Now, we Americans must be apes, apes with rocketpacks, in the face of our new, terra-ist enemies. We must combine the awesome strength, wisdom and millions of dollars of a gorilla with the ability to fly and strike at any moment provided by a jetpack.
